Lil Cotton Candy Princess

Getting over people is hard.
I feel like it’s harder to get over people when you feel like the possibility of things working out is still there.
You hold onto hope and self sabotage every potential relationship you could have because you don’t want things to work with anyone else,
just in case that one person decides they want you,
or they’re ready,
or whatever the reason may be
You have to be ready and available.
And you spend all your time alone while trying to meet new people and get involved and try dating but you never want it to be too serious.
Nothing too serious
Just in case.
You might meet someone who is amazing and everything you need, maybe even what you want
But you push them away because you need to be ready.
You need to be available.
You need to be completely single
Just in case
And everyone tells you to let go
And move on
And meet new people
Like it’s ever been that easy, to let go
And move on
And meet new people when you feel like you’re trapped
You can’t let go,
You have to be set free.
But you can’t be set free until that person you’re holding out for tells you “never”
Like its a magical word that until uttered holds you to the complete delusion that it might happen someday.
But until then
you hold out,
Just in case,
And unaware to you, you’re slowly tearing yourself down, wondering why you’re not good enough to be the one
Wondering why they’re with other people when they could be with you
And you mope and spend days in bed and go thru depressive slumps all over what could be
Instead of what is
But you do it,
Just in case.